


loved you in darkness, loved you in fluorescent light

by angree_baratheon



Category: True Beauty - Yaongyi (Webcomic), 여신강림 | True Beauty (Korea TV)
Genre: But this is all fluff, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff, Future Fic, Mentions of Mental Illness, Suho and Jugyeong are a supportive and healthy couple, and that's the tea, yes suho struggles with depression
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-09
Updated: 2021-01-24
Packaged: 2021-03-13 03:42:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,281
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28646979
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angree_baratheon/pseuds/angree_baratheon
Summary: She has a way with him. She always does.Or, Jugyeong and Suho are older, together, and navigating the trials of finally being together and being in love. Follow a mix up of Webtoon and K-Drama. Future-fic. Series of drabbles.
Relationships: Jugyeong Lim/Suho Lee
Comments: 24
Kudos: 130





	1. don't cry, snowman

**Author's Note:**

> y’all gave me permission to write a fanfic and i deliver 😳😳😳

He wakes up with a gasp.

Then, he’s heaving; breath coming out in shakes and trembles and Suho realises, rather exhaustedly, that he’s sweating. That, and there’s the sound of his door swinging open, followed by sets of hurried footsteps and the one voice he’s both allured by yet finds himself terrified by it too.

Jugyeong settles to his side naturally. She’s already got one hand around a glass of cool water, the other behind his back. His _sweaty_ back, and he’s about to push her away — make sure that she doesn’t have to be there around him when he’s obviously gross and unhealthy — but Jugyeong is quick.

The water is shoved to his face.

“Here,” she says, urgent. “Have a drink.”

He looks at her - properly, and feels instantly guilty that he hasn’t had a chance to really reply to her since yesterday. It’d just... been a few difficult days, and while talking with Jugyeong usually eases his mind, it’s hard to maintain the level of attention when she’s only still text messages across the screen. Phones, after all, can be silenced. Worse, they ran out of battery. They die, and you’re cut off.

Suho feels selfish like this, for only wanting her physically just because it’s easier or more pleasing for him — when he’s aware that Jugyeong has this whole life aside from him. And she deserves to explore it, live in it.

Yet...

Suho drinks the water up - swallow it down like a madman. Jugyeong watches, and she smiles when he’s done, bending over till she reaches the bedside table to pick up — balms? Yeah. Seems like it. Traditional ones in those small tin cans.

“You’re here,” Suho finally acknowledges her, looking down to his laps like he’s done something criminal, and he’s awaiting a scold.

“Yes, of course,” He hears Jugyeong answers and she sounds - disappointed, but her voice picks up, suggesting that she doesn’t really take offense. Suho knows, logically, that maybe Jugyeong doesn’t. She understands; _she always does_ , but his heart races anyway to think that he’d burdened her anyway. That he’d troubled her. He’s a bad and horrible boyfriend, when all Jugyeong deserves is the best.

“I was worried when you didn’t text me back. But when I asked your sister, she said you’ve been having migraines since yesterday,” Jugyeong pouts. She’s so cute. Suho feels like he could fly. “You should’ve told me.”

“I didn’t wanna worry you.” 

He knows she’s been getting more make-up gigs lately due to her performance while she’s under Selena, _and_ _he’d been so proud_ , and he didn’t want to break that momentum for her. _He couldn’t_. He wants her to succeed doing what she’s love - cause that’s when she looks the happiest.

“You think I wasn’t worried when you stopped texting back?” She scolds, and then, unexpectedly in ways that only Jugyeong could be, she presses her palms against his cheeks, and squeezes. That surprises him! But Jugyeong is surprisingly strong during the oddest times, and stupidly determined when she could be. It’s endearing. “Aish, what’s the point of having the best grade in your class when you’re this dense?”

“I, uh-” Suho stutters, “I'm s-sweaty—”

“I don’t mind!” Jugyeong insists, and her hair waves over with every movements. Everything she does is just so... _Suho likes it so much_. “You should tell me when you’re troubled or sick or - or anything. Just like how I always tell you if I’m bothered or bored or angry. We’re together because we _want_ to worry about each other. I _want_ to worry about you.”

Suho finds himself speechless, Adam’s apple bobbing up and down in an effort to reply, but nothing’s coming out.

Jugyeong seems satisfied by this expression - she smiles, and it’s the best thing Suho has ever seen. For a moment, any dream of Seyeon and his mom and the sadness that seems to always hover drifts back. What remains were the better memories. Not the nightmares and the trauma.

Suho feels like he’s crumbling apart - but that’s okay, because Jugyeong seems to always know what to do with him, crumbled or not. Every tension on his body ebbs out, and Suho allows himself to lean in, forehead falling against his partner’s shoulder, and he could smell the scent of detergent there. The same detergent he’s been wearing because Jugyeong’s been picking out more and more of their groceries together.

“I love you,” he murmurs, and he does, and he does, _and he does_.

Jugyeong doesn’t hesitate. When she answers back, she sounds like she’s smiling - happy. “I love you too, silly.”

Suho wants to cry.

“Mom gave me that balm that could help with migraines. There’s also, I think, some ointment? I’m not sure. I brought dad’s scented candle cause I know you like the one that’s smelled like peppermint,” Jugyeong giggles against his ear, arms going around to wrap him by the shoulders. His hands brace by her hips before he finds more courage, and pulls her in, just a bit. Selfish. Is he selfish, for feeling so grateful?

“I’ve also ordered porridges for dinner if you feel like eating later. I ordered extra chicken for me though, but you can totally have mine if you ask very, very nicely,” she teases, giggling again. She’s adorable.

Suho feels his heart jumps. He pulls back a little - he wants to see her face for this. “You’re staying?”

“Yeah,” She nods a few times. Smiles. Arms still around him. So close, she’s so warm. What has he ever done to deserve this? To deserve her. “If you’re okay with it though—”

“Yes,” He’s too quick, too desperate, _too un-cool,_ but he doesn’t care. “Yes,” He hugs her again, this time he squeezes her body fully. Thankfully, Jugyeong only naturally hugs him back. “Of course.”

“Then, I’ll be here _all night_. I’ll help you.”

Suho wants to cry, but he settles with only counting the fast drumming of his heartbeat, and the fact their detergent smells the same: as if a receipt that his life and hers has been entangled to this extent, _and he wants every scrap of it_. Maybe things aren’t always okay, but - maybe things aren’t always bad, too.


	2. darling, i'm with you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i didn't expect this to be a smol series, but oh well.

By the time he wakes up, Jugyeong isn’t there.

For a moment, Suho allows the stillness of the room to immobilise him. He thinks there’s something like disappointment blooming right under his chest, but he knows if he starts dwelling on it, it’ll drag his mood for the entire morning down. So, he sighs, and rubs a hand down his face, just to collect any sense of composure that he feels slowly slipping away.

That is, until he could hear the wisps of a foreign rock song jammed on the other side of the bedroom door.

He gets to the kitchen and Jugyeong has her hair tied up in a messy knot.

She’s wearing her standard square-rimmed spectacles, mouth moving along surprisingly quickly to a language Suho is aware she hasn’t exactly excelled in when they were in high school together. The shirt she has has an outdated design, something she must’ve picked up during her last thrift-shopping. He hadn’t seen that pattern before.

She hasn’t really noticed him yet, facing towards the kitchen and scrolling down her phone.

Suho walks up to her, “Good morning,” and wrap his arms around the familiar shape of her hips.

Jugyeong seems startled, but only for a second, turning to the side with a smile that still aches him as much as it sends his heart on a chase. “Wah,” she giggles, taking advantage of his height and leaning back into the embrace, and Suho wonders how his chest hasn’t exploded yet with how much his insides shake to her every move. “Your morning voice is _sexy_.”

She says the last word in English, her Korean accent is thick, and she’s joking with him, he knows - _but it’s so cute_. She's so cute, and he doesn't know how he'd taken this before, but he thinks he might combust. He squeezes her harder instead, presses his nose into the skin where her collar isn’t covering. The place where her shoulder meets her bare neck is warm, nice, when he brushes his lips there.

“Stop teasing me,” he tells.

She giggles again, happy, and Suho can’t imagine he’s had days in the past where he would deny this. Where he would think it would never work out. Where he expected Jugyeong to never like him back - _or like him_ _again_. Not after the way he left, not after the stupid ways he didn’t pursue anything - not in the beginning. _But_ , he's glad that he did. Because if it'd led him to this...

In his arms, Jugyeong is protesting. "I'm not!" she insists, running one hand up into his hair, affectionate. “I like your morning voice.”

“You should’ve stayed in bed,” He replies, in lieu of not acknowledging the blush that he knows are creeping up his cheeks. She has a way with him; she always does.

“Ah, but I was hungry,” Jugyeong pouts, now focusing back on the plate of half-eaten cereal on the counter where she’s left. She picks it up, and scoops a spoonful of the cornflakes. Turning slightly - though not by much, not when she’s still trapped in his hug - the spoon comes close to him. The milk from it drips. “And I didn’t wanna wake you. You want a bite?”

Suho shakes his head. “It’s okay, thank you.”

Jugyeong shrugs, unconcerned, and eats it for herself. “Do you want the toast, then? I can have it ready for after you shower.”

“You’re not wearing your make-up.” He says instead, noticing. Grip loosening, Suho takes a better look at his partner. Jugyeong doesn’t seem bothered by this, that he's moved away slightly and staring right at her. No, she's comfortable in his kitchen: smiling back at a post that's just showed up in her feed and double-taping them. In the same second, she takes another bite from her bowl. Suho can't help smiling a little. His multitasking queen. “You’re not going out?”

“Nope!” She smiles at him, cheeks plumping up adorably as she shakes her head. “I bought some new comics yesterday. I’m planning to stay inside the whoooole day _._ ”

“Oh? The whole day?” He tries not to sound too excited, but it leaks out; a smile of his own, or a bigger size of it, is already tugging at the edges of his mouth.

“Mmm-hmm,” Jugyeong hums, nodding enthusiastically, “I’m staying in with you.”

Suho is startled by this for some reason.

It isn’t like Jugyeong’s never stayed over or stayed in before, but - between both of their schedules lately, and Jugyeong coming-and-returning to her parents’ house, Suho couldn’t actually remember the last time they just had a whole Saturday for themselves. That is, a Saturday that isn’t also filled with rushed errands and/or getting ready to welcome or meet friends.

As if reading his mind, Jugyeong nudges him; her thin shoulder brushing. Even now, the small contact sends shivers down to his toes.

It's stupid, he knows - they've dated for more than a year, but he still reacts like this. Suho feels stupid.

_But—_

Jugyeong is smiling at him, and she - _she's so pretty_.

“Would you like that?”

She asks, sounding coy.

Suho can’t help smiling now, fully. Suddenly he feels like he’s in his high school again, blushing away just because Jugyeong would spare him a glance. It’s ridiculous. And yet —

“Yes,” he answers, “I’d like that.”

“Okay,” Jugyeong breathes, letting go of her phone to touch his cheek, cupping it. And then, swiftly, she leans up. Kisses. Just like that, his breath is stolen out of his lungs. He will never get that breath back, he knows, but - he’s fine with this. “I love you.”

“I love you more,” Suho finds himself almost-whining, almost-groaning at the confession. The place where her lips have ghosted over his feels like it’ll tingle forever.

“Silly,” Jugyeong laughs against his chest, “This isn’t a competition!”

It isn’t. It never will be. But how else can he describe the bubbling feeling of adoration and desire that seems like it will always overflow? He can’t. So, for now, all he could do is laugh along with her - and if that somehow leads to Jugyeong pushing him to their bathroom since she’s claiming that he has morning breath while he requests to trade kisses for her effort, then so be it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> feel free to send prompts + pairing to my tumblr! [@maariarogers.](https://maariarogers.tumblr.com/)


	3. i'll love you long

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Episode 12 ended me. Periodt.

“Mom wants you to come over for dinner this Saturday.”

Jugyeong is splayed across the couch. It should look unseemly: her make-up’s faded, which means she’d been too tired by the end of the day to properly touch it up, and her hair takes over the expanse of the sofa where she’s resting her head against. She isn’t sitting well, too; half lying down, and mostly draping over it, still in her work attire.

She shouldn’t look that attractive, but Suho stills feels a little jump, a little shiver, crawling up his stomach at the sight of her like this.

She’s still adorable, pouting on the couch. He brings over the apple he’s just cut in small rabbit-like pieces — the way his mom used to do it — and puts it on the coffee table as he joins her.

“Your mom?” He asks almost senselessly, just to confirm.

Jugyeong makes a noise, something between a hum and a whine, and it’s - _so cute,_ Suho can’t help smiling. She’s so adorable. He picks up the fork and pierces an apple, brings it over to feed her. Jugyeong opens her mouth without question, chewing.

“Have you had dinner?” He asks this time - not because he’s eager to change the subject, but because he’s curious.

Jugyeong’s pout hasn’t exactly left her mouth, but her eyes round into a more questioning look, as if she hadn’t expected the query. She shakes her head quickly enough though, answering, “No. You cooked, right?”

“Hm,” he hums, confirming. “It’s pasta aglio olio tonight.”

“Is it the one with the chicken?”

“No,” He answers truthfully. “Prawns.”

The pout somehow becomes more prominent. He smiles again, because he doesn’t think he can ever get over the expression, and pierces another apple. “I made it extra spicy for you, though.”

Instead of a smile, Jugyeong turns and — it seems that whatever expression she’s holding before, it worsens. She looks half-like she’s about to cry, but Suho’s known the signs by now. This isn’t a — _I-made-a-mistake-and-now-I’m-screwed_ crying, or _I’m-sorry-I-shouldn’t-have-been-that-mad_ crying. No, Suho thinks, calming his heart down. This is only his girlfriend frowning hard, eyes saddened.

There are no tears. Yet.

“You’re so good to me,” she exclaims, like it’s a bad thing.

Suho feeds her the apple to her. She opens her mouth automatically, not denying the food. Watching her chew, he prods, “What’s wrong?”

“Mom wants you to cook this Saturday too.”

 _Oh?_ His eyebrows are raised, not unkindly.

Jugyeong, in the meantime, looks defeated. She sighs loudly, kicking her feet in the air, barely missing the coffee table. “Aish, she’s too much sometimes! How could she ask you to do so much when she’s the one who wanted you over.”

“I mean,” Suho tries to defend, “We did promise a family meal once a month, right? Since your parents allowed you to, uh - live here too?”

It’s - still a little embarrassing, admitting it aloud a few times. Especially if the sentence somehow circles back to acknowledging Jugyeong’s parents in the matter, but only because Suho’s recalling the time when he and Jugyeong had knelt at the living room of the Lim’s family house and ask for the proper permission.

Jugyeong’s father had been fuming, but Jugyeong’s mother didn’t seem to mind that much, if only the deal was that Jugyeong must still sleep over at theirs a few times.

“I knooow,” Jugyeong’s voice pulls him back, and the pout there on her face is extraordinary. Suho wants to kiss it. “But just because you’re taking all those cooking classes doesn’t mean she should treat you like a personal worker! Ah, she’s so frustrating...”

“I don’t mind,” Suho says, biting half an apple for himself before he brings it dutifully to her mouth again; watches as she observes his movement, and chomps on the fruit when it’s near. She’s adorable.

“No fair,” she scoots closer now. Suho puts the fork down, cradles her laps close to his chest, pulling her closer. Jugyeong rests her head against his chest then, arms going around above his shoulders. Like this, Suho can smell the faint scent of her perfume — the one that smells like the ocean. This must be the one Sua got for her recently.

“You even drove Dad to the hospital for his back pains, and you play internet games with Juyeong all the time.”

Not all the time. Every other Sunday, whenever he’s free.

“Seojun plays with us, too.”

“Aish, that man.” Jugyeong comments, and Suho could already tell that she’s making a face. He smiles, brushes her hair back. “He’s an international idol, and he still has time for games with a kid? Ah, he must need some stress-relief. Poor Han Seojun.”

Suho steers the conversation back, “What does your mom have in plan for me to cook?”

“Ugh,” Jugyeong groans, now pressing her face against his shirt. He wonders, briefly, if the make-up she has now will leave a stain. She would always feel bad over it, no matter if it happened way too many times by now and he’s used to it. It’s just her face, contorted in guilt, that he can’t stand. “You don’t have to.”

Her voice, when it comes out, is muffled.

Suho leaves out a breath that could almost be a form of laughter, and holds her close. In return, Jugyeong stays still; as if she, too, caught in the moment, decides to bask in it. The whole world is quiet.

And then, “I want to.”

He takes a hold of her face then, just one palm; the other arm lays steadily to support the weight of her in his embrace still. His thumb runs over a cheek gently, and Suho feels something in him thrums happily when she looks at him back: all dow brown eyes, and pleasant curiosity. She’s so lovely.

“If it means I can be with you, I want to,” he confesses - like he’s that high school boy shying away from her affection, yet seemingly wanting so desperately of her attention all at the same time, going most of his life without by then. He feels coy, a romantic waiting to be ridiculed all of a sudden.

Jugyeong doesn't ridicule. She never does - not about these things. She giggles. The plump of her cheeks stand out, and she’s so - _she’s so heartbreakingly beautiful_ , smiling at this, just at him.

She seems happy.

Her own hands — dainty, lean fingers — go over to ghost across his cheekbones. It’s electrifying. Suho closes his eyes, lets it energise him. “You’re so good to me,” this time, she says it like it’s a recent happy discovery. In a whisper too, like a secret she's glad to keep to herself for a second longer. Suho feels like he could run for miles, and he won't ever get tired.

“Only because you’re the best to me,” he kisses the centre of her palm instead.

She giggles again.

“I don’t mind,” he reassures her once more, this time leaning his forehead right against hers.

“Okay,” she whispers. “Only if Mr. Han is also helping you in the kitchen. Our brother-in-law is not just gonna sit still. I won’t let him!”

Suho beams, laughing a little, “Deal.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you'd like to send me a prompt (a word + pairing) for me to write, feel free to send them at [my tumblr!](https://maariarogers.tumblr.com/ask)


End file.
